I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
