i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
