I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
