So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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