Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
