Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
