She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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