I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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