I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
