wat bout pragnant strippers??
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
