the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
