They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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