Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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