She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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