The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We are all done wearing pants today
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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