at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
