This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
