I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
