im drinking this country out of the recession.
She announced her abortion via fbk
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
