I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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