Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
