he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
