Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize