You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
