There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
