Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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