my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
