Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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