Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
