Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
