i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
