I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
