Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
