I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
