? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
