New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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