And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
