This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
