You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
