FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
