woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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