I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
