In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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