Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
