Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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