hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
