Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My hand turned me down
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i now understand why vodka
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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