so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
God, you're like boner-b-gone
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
