For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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