guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
